OBSCURE FOX: lists

Showing posts with label lists. Show all posts

Wednesday, 24 June 2015

10 weird and uncomfortable words

Fetus
moist
Aardvark
Istanbul
phalanges
nipples
imbecile
squids
clavicles
mucous

I have officially lost the plot for life.

Tuesday, 26 May 2015

14 Struggles people with glasses understand

As a vivid glasses wearer with over 10 years of experience I've noticed some of the problems of wearing these spectacular spectacles....

10 thoughts you have on the train

I spend way too much time on the train. It's actually ridiculous.

8 Worst things about being a female (according to science)

Continuing on from my last post, I decided to make a separate one. So as you may know I'm studying nursing I have I a slight interest in sexual health (no joke.) and anatomy/physiology, it all amuses me so here's some things that are a little bit unfair.

It's crazy how the female body is always preparing the body for pregnancy, if that doesn't happen the myometrium (uterine wall) shed during menstruation. (What a waste of energy if you don't wanna get pregnant in my opinion)
Women have more fat than men. About 20% of body weight, in men it represents only 10%.. It all has to do with the pregnancy thing again. The area where fat goes apparently depends on climate. "In hot countries, the fat is localized on the buttocks (black Africans), on the hips (Mediterraneans), and around the navel (certain Asians)." (FUCK YOU CLIMATE! I dont need more stomach fat)
More chance of UTI. Because the urethra is near the anus. So wipe up from your asshole you dirty whore. And also, fluid things push up during sex so make sure you pee after.
Women have less water in their bodies. (Due to the fat thing) which makes us more prone to dehydration. Drink up.
Pap smears. Guys get it easy with a urine test. Women need a metal instrument to open the vagina and an uncomfortable swab of cervix cells from those walls.
Mammograms. Just can't wait to get my breasts compacted into a sandwhich press? Why haven't they invented something less uncomfortable??
More AIDS/STI effect. STIs affects women more, certain things that will lead to infertility.
The Birth Control Pill's effect on overall mood. Why are women crazy? Emotionally imbalanced? Birth control tricks the body into thinking that it's pregnant so you won't get pregnant, so you're basically just walking around like an eternally pregnant woman... Think about it. It's literally all the hormones you're ingesting.

DESIGNER VAGINAS:

Vaginal Rejuvenation $7,000*

Aimed at women who complain of feeling too loose to enjoy sex,it involves tightening the vagina. The truth: No published studiesshow whether "rejuvenated" women feel more or less satisfaction.

Labiaplasty $6,000

This can reduce the size of the inner or outer labia and evenout asymmetrical lips. However, visibly asymmetrical anduneven lips are actually the norm.

The G-Shot $1,550

It increases the size of the G-spot area via a collagen or cosmeticfillerinjection; this supposedly intensifies sensation. Shots lastthree to six months. Beware: Its effectiveness is in doubt.

Hymen Repair $5,000

This reconstructs the hymen, allowing a woman to experiencethe feeling of losing her virginity again. Hmm...pain, blood, andawkwardness a second time around? Don't sign us up.

8 Worst things about being a female

Let's get try and not get too feministy?

Periods. Let's face it. They're messy, they're costly. nobody likes them (think about all those pads/tampons/wipes/CHOCOLATE/pain meds) and they are just a pain in the vagina (get it because... vagina..ha...h) wrecking your sheets/clothes and nice panties. and CRAMPS are just the worst. Actually, you wanna know what's worse? taking a shit while you're on your period and that piece of blood string thing?? (does anyone know what I'm talking about?? please holla)
Giving birth/responsible for non-barrier contraceptive. ouch? the vagina stretches 10x when giving birth... and $ and time. crazy mood swings, tender breasts, it's shit.
Bras. I mean, I love a cute bra but like, sometimes i just wanna free the nipple. the best part of my day is taking my bra off.
Aesthetic/how women are percieved/expectation of beauty/double standard/bad media. this shit is too obvious to talk about OKAY. also the european expectation of beauty
Other girls. Why hate or be jealous? seriously WHY can't we just be vagina bitches
Shaving. its so socially unacceptable if you dont. it costs heaps of $$$$$. and ive literally tried them all; wax, shaving, depilory cream... AND TAKES A FUCKLOAD OF TIME & wax is not cheap ;( ;( shaving your bits is hard precision work which requires a handmirror, sometimes a phone with front camera and you spreading your legs awkardly on a wet bathroom floor
Being viewed as aggressive when being assertive.. and getting called a bitch.
Stupid boys telling you what you are/to do. My body is not yours for public commentary.

Wednesday, 14 January 2015

How to be less socially awkward

Help is on the way

1. If you're socially awkward like me, sometimes smiling works- shows you are a happy person

2. talking a tad louder than you usually do.

3. Also pretending that you're not socially awkward. They don't know you

4. Pretend you are talking to a friend.

5. Pretend you are confident

6. Wear makeup and a good outfit. Scientifically proven!!!

7. Breathe and chill don't overthink it too much. Pace yourself CHILL

8. Be yourself (???) like show how smart, charming and funny you are

9. Ask questions about themselves

10. Drone on and on and talk as much as you can and don't stop.

11. Don't be silent. If it gets silent, ask them a question

12. Compliment them. They be like wow what a nice person

13. When talking in a group, contribute early as you can. Comment. Say something. Anything. If u literally have no idea then just make it up - k maybe not.

I wish you good luck.

That's all my tips. 18 years of experience.

How to avoid regret and be a better person

WELCOME

1. When you have a funny joke, comment or whatever SAY IT loud not whisper it or keep it in your head. Or else your friend will say it and take cred. People will think you are funny. If they don't laugh. It will pass.

2. Always always always speak up to someone if you know they're doing shit wrong.

3. Stand up for yourself. Give sass, don't ever be a wimp. I guess what I'm saying is own that bitch.

4. Answer the question if you know the answer. Even if the answer is obvious.

5. Don't leave personal shit lying around. Don't.

6. Say thanks more. And don't be afraid to admit you're wrong..

7. Buy expensive. Quality over quantity when it comes to shoes, clothes.. Etc when it comes to life saving moments and you got that made im China pocket knife..it's not gonna "cut" it (127 hours reference)

8. Share food

9. Learn to do at least one cool thing