10 thoughts: What it feels like to be phoneless

#the struggle is real

1. You realise nobody really texts/call you except your parents. Insert sad face emoji.
2. Feelings of terrible Instagram/snapchat deprivedness: you stop taking photos of food and other videos of random things for your snapchat story. It feels like every brilliant photo you miss, you're betraying a crucial photo opportunity to post on your blog and/or instagram
3. When you stop and look around your surroundings, observing everyone within a close proximity to you, everyone is on their phones (Ok. Not everyone. but let's say 98%.)— even when you're with your friends, like please, TALK TO ME IM PHONELESS AND YOU KNOW IT 
4. You stop wasting so much of that precious time scrolling endlessly through your Facebook feed which usually ends in emotional boredom and time thinking about captions for photos and hashtags for instagram
5. Train rides are silent and really, really fucking boring. At several points which I found myself studying and reviewing notes which- now that I think of it — although I've thought about it before—would probably be a practical and a much more productive way to spend that time
6. Upon the traumatic loss of my phone I have been taking up random hobbies like baking brownies, yoga, polyvore set making, working on assignments earlier than usual, reading (I'm reading two books at the moment: The Fault in our stars, which Liam lent me and My Legendary Girlfriend, which is about breakups which I bought at Bookfest earlier this year  + Poetry by Sylvia Plath), sitting on the piano recording experimental music (i.e. French Ear Rap(e). A rap song with me yelling what appears to be random French gibberish in a deepened vocal effect) and an improve parody version of Coldplay's fix me about a broken phone. It's a huge emotional journey about first world problems, I promise. Or gardening and planting pumpkin- which Liam encouraged me to do and I'm quite delighted to do so. Even though my gardening knowledge is about as awful as Lil Wayne's ability to play guitar.
7. Also reverting to familiar hobbies, i.e. Online shopping, although that's more of a vextacious habit.
8. To make matters worse, the DVD player in the living room is completely busted so I couldn't watch a whole series of Dr Who or New Girl/Games of Thrones/Breaking Bad or whatever TV shows people watch these days. Queue crying face emoji.
9. You'll have wet dreams where you are reunited with your phone and will live happily in perfect harmony. You wake up to your phone, give it a kiss, and make blueberry pancakes for them and siri will say she appreciates you and you realise your life is the exact same plot as Her - that movie where that guy falls in love with a computer. Then you wake up in rl and realise you are phoneless, attacking you in all places you feel pain. This natural process will continue for the next 2 weeks. 
10. All in all, I miss my phone. PLS COME BACK I THOUGHT I COULD DO IT BUT I CANT I MISS U