Internal Thoughts: Shitpost 2.0

A whole bunch of writing that doesn't belong anywhere, no structure whatsoever

• All i've been listening to lately is porter robinson's worlds album 

• every song on there is greatt

• esp. Divinity, sad machine, and flicker (which im kinda getting tired of ~if it isnt loud & there isnt good speakers)

• Started growing garden cress seed sprouter. which grew. do you eat the seed things or do u like trim it I Have no idea.  also started planted parsely & basil. And pineapple. 

• randomly bought flower pot for $2 and its so cute aw :) named it Poe~~the lil red teletubby 

• walked around the lake w/ bessie last week. Mostly catching up & taking out our frustrations, making plans

• Bought party decorations, cool stuff. the most expensive thing i bought was balloons. i thought they were cheap (?!?)

• I wrote an Indian poem.

Roses r red

hav sexy tiem wid me

• whats the big deal w man buns? .*gogles* ,,oh k srlsy some of u gurls u just need to calm the fuck down o (n alex from target wtf he aint even that cute tbh)

• *Checks FB news feed* KIM K, KIM K BUTT, KIM K OILY BUTT, hmm i mean can i get fat impant things injected into my bum too n be famous [[also wearing layers of butt pads enhancer things and spanx that look like a nappy before u wear pants doesnt count ahemmm ]] 

• srsly check it out, tom foolery

• UMMMM TAYLOR THATS NOT MAKEUP FREE U ASSHOLES MTV GET UP SHIT TOGETHER

• i just remembered why i dont watch tv or read celebrity news

• "There's a difference between makeup free and "natural makeup""

• Anyone who doesn't know this is an idiot

• Ok, sorry, I gotta calm down

• But srsly

• i hear my neighbour get home and the dog makes a sound and he's like 'oh shut up!"... or if u  like kick ur dog or whatever

• IF YOU TREAT YOUR PETS THIS WAY THERES A 100% CHANCE I WILL SLAP IN THE NOSE

• its just science

• so like im having a party on friday and my dad buys a fucking disco ball, sets up a table tennis table n does all the screwy things which i can never do n hangs fairy lights HAHAHAH omg bt rly ty ty ty

• AND I ORDERED A BLACK FOREST CAKE FROM THE CHEESECAKE SHOP

• its gonna be ace i think... IT BETTER BE or else i got some serious ass kicking to do

• "come 2 my party or else there will be a 100% chance ill slap u on the nose" .. hmm im talking to alec, danny and thinh. OR ELSE.

• ok so i had a chat and danny is in fucking melbourne n alec is outta fucking town, which means Jess isnt going, bessie has fucking work and exams and thy has fucking exams in the morn and like ya,,,,

• *CRIES*

• es stupido...

• *dies*

• 10 people is enough + fam though ! maybe need to buy more alcohol but idk what to buy maybe malibu rum and baileys or ciders. im not gonna get fully drunk.

• I want hot chocolate and someone to read me a bedtime story #i'm almost an adult#Y do I want this

• When I tell people their wives are pretty and they reply "yeah she's a keeper" DAWWWWWWW LET ME MARRY A GUY THAT WOULD SAY THE SAME THINg

• also im gonna name my cat potato nickname poe

• its gonna be s0o0 cute aw

• Bitch u 17 u look like u 40 df

• liven up ur vocabulary. swap out "boyfriend" for terms such as - malepal - manbuddy - sex merchant

• im writing up a cover letter like 'yo lemme get dis job pls b0sss pls"

• i wanna Be the lead female vocalist/synth/keyboard player i thiink that will be kickass, like in paramore.hah

• i'm everyone's type like o positive blood

• thats a joke

• bc you see its actually O negativehi

• """"i hate it when im too fat for my beekeeper suit & the other beekeepers make fun of my big ass. like fuck off im just trying to get the honey"

• """to the untrained eye i'm in bed slowly drinking milk from a camelbak. im actually pretending its a titty and practicing sucking on it"

• and I~~~~yea

• autoerotic asphyxiation is a myth. theres no bonus pleasure for doing it. most people just wanna pound out one last big load before they die 

• pros of being relatively short: you can get picked up :D IDC I LOVE IT

• If I date someone but we also I have cat I will pay attention to the cat more

yo idek im gonna sleep now. anyway bye!

me~ probably cracking a hilarious joke~ and singing about cats~

Look at this lil cute pocket knife
I want 1